I got this free tee shirt many months ago when the weather was cold. Because of the then inclement climate I threw the red shirt into my dresser to hibernate ‘til spring. About a month ago I grabbed it because it was hot (the weather) and it was clean (the shirt.) I didn’t think that much about the looks of the thing, but I did like the fact that the round bubbles drew people’s attention away from my ever expanding beer belly (developed even without the help of any beer.)

But I noticed the looks. Some people stared. Some people gawked. And it wasn’t because they thought they were seeing Dick Cheney. They were lusting after my body—well at least the shirt. Last week I was walking around in a Target store looking for something that they don’t carry because it’s not “in season” when one of the store-wanderers noticed me and asked where I got my shirt. She started to inform me about the rarity of the cloth covering my broad shoulders. Even as a Target employee she was not able to get her hands on one of these treasures. And because my wife was standing not too far away she couldn’t get her hands on mine either.

Then today as we dined in the outdoor splendor of a Minnesota summer evening, a gentleman seated at the table next to ours enquired about my shirt. I was a little embarrassed at first seeing that this was a somewhat fancier establishment and I show up in denim shorts and a tee shirt. But he started telling me about a television segment he saw that talked about my shirt. He claimed that my shirt was valued at $ 150. Wow.

And I got it for free. And I had access to boxes of these shirts. (In fact, my mother just gave a bag of them to Goodwill, because they were laying around the house.) It never ceases to amaze me what items are given value by our society. Oh well.

So for now I will venture out into the night, glowing in the dark (almost) with my bright red tee shirt, enjoying the envious looks of those whose paths I cross.

And to think that my daughter thinks SHE’S the fashion statement in the household.