Why I Don’t Listen to Country Music

While driving home from work on Friday, listening to my favorite talk show “Garage Logic,” I heard them do something they rarely if ever do—play music. I suppose it was because they were broadcasting from the Minnesota State Fair. They played a song which twanged with the best of them. Its title: “It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long.....”
It definitely brought a smile to my face, a chuckle in my voice, and maybe even a tear to my eye. Perhaps I should listen to more country music.

BLOG FINISHED. This was to be the end of my blog. I made my point. I was ready to post, but I figured that I should double check the title of that song to see if I got it right. Ahhhhh, the wonders of the internet. I typed in a few of the words, “kiss the lips at night,” and viola. Hundreds of search hits to my query. I was a few words off, so it was worth the time and effort to get things right.

And apparently many others have heard and found humor or insight from this song by the Notorious Cherry Bombs. Am I always behind the curve? A little slow to the punch? Too Norwegian for my own good?

What I found funny though is that the query list item that I first clicked on was a blog by an Anglican from the UK who is a Greenbelt devotee (Cornerstone’s sister festival in England, not officially but in spirit). And the tagline at the top of his blog was a quote by one of my favorites, Mike Yaconelli, who was recently killed in an auto accident. Ironically the quote was “Jump first. Fear later.” I know that’s how he lived his life, I hope that’s not how he always drove his car. But I guess it doesn’t matter now. We’ve lost a great communicator of the gospel, one that always saw humor around him, often in the words of others, but more often in his own words and actions. He would have loved this song too. So for your listening and reading pleasure I now present: “It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long.....”

She used to call me baby... I thought she was such a lady... But my how things have changed since times moved on...
I gave her my last dollar... And now all she'll do is holler...Oh my life has become a country song.......
I've learned she can resist me... by the way she always disses me...And comes to bed at night, with that cold cream on.......
Sometimes I might feel frisky... but these days it's just too risky...
It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long.....All day Long.... It goes all day long......

If a tree fell in the forest, She didn't hear it, would I still be wrong...
I guess I should admit it.. She ain't never gonna quit it...
It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long.....
Spoken Voice:
Man I remember when her eyes used to be so blue and shiny, God you oughtta see what's happened to her hiney(HER WHAT?) her hineyMan that thing is big enough to land a small plane on.(SMALL PLANE ?) I'm tellin' yaI used to roll her in the the clover, (mmm hmm) but my god those days are over(Hallelulia!)
It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day LongAll day Long.... She goes all day long......
If some day they drop the big one, I'd say sweet Jesus, She's gonna finally leave me alone
It's alright if we say it.. cause the radio won't play it.
It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long.......
It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long.............

One final thought: after a good laugh, I can sit back and count my blessings that my life is not a Country music song. The lips I kiss are one's that usually offer praise and encouragement. She even tells me she reads and likes these blogs. Go figure.