Hey Buster, You forgot to count my bird bath and dog dish

I awoke Friday morning to the astounding news that Minnesota was not number one. Actually I knew that Alaska was the true leader with over 100,000 of them. But TEXAS?????!!!!!! There is no way in h-e-, I mean Texas, that the Lone Star state has more lakes than good old Minnesnota.

A front page article in the Minneapolis Star Tribune told of an Ohio geography professor that has redefined “lake” and come up with some crazy numbers. Sure enough, he does give the North Star state more than double of what they claim on their license plates—the Land of 10,000 lakes. But ranking Minnesota seventh is ridiculous.

I quizzed my wife on which state ranks first. She gave me several “wrong” answers, so I had to give her HIS answer of Texas. Then I told her Florida was number two. She responded by saying that “I suppose Oklahoma and Kansas are the next two.” Well, she was right, according to said Ohioan’s list.

The way that this character gets his numbers is by counting any collection of water at least 100 feet wide. So for all the farmers that have dug out a pond for their livestock, congratulations. You now have lakefront property. Time to call the appraisers. Let’s quadruple your taxes.

And for all of you lovers of water sports, don’t forget your skis next time you travel to Oklahoma. A boat might not fit in the "lake," but hey, I've got some extra paddles. And I bet you could find some fishing that is OK.

But for now I will take solace in the fact that at least we Minnesotans can walk on our lakes. Take that Texas.