Are those ants in your pants?

On my way to engage in warring conflict yesterday against the F. man and some buddies, I switched to MPR (Minnesota Public Radio) to catch the end of Prairie Home Companion. I forgot (notice any recurring theme?) that the Sunday rebroadcast was moved from 12—2 to 11—1. So I listened instead to another show that I catch once in a while called “Speaking of Faith.” The interviewed guest, Jennifer Michael Hecht , has just finished a book entitled, Doubt: A History. It chronicles the history of doubt (duh, I may not remember much, but I’ve got an uncanny ability to summarize theses) within Christianity and other major world religions and worldviews. Being a lover of history, it was intriguing. Her main point was that worldviews are strengthened when they allow doubting within the ranks. She probably stated it much more profoundly, but that will have to do for purposes of this blog.

I’m a big fan of doubt. Doubt as an end in itself is not to my liking; but as a means to deeper understanding, I’m all for it. One of my favorite definitions of doubt comes from novelist/theologian Frederick Buechner. He says that doubt is the ants in the pants of faith. It keeps it alive and moving. Or something to that effect.

That’s not always a popular sentiment though. I was in a small group Bible study group many years ago and was asked to break off from the group to start another one as the leader. However, a few weeks before this was to happen, the head honcho of these groups was sitting in on our time together. I was answering some questions in the study guide about doubt. And instead of blasting it, I gave the above definition by Buechner. Needless to say, it was decided by the powers that be, that I was probably not the right candidate for the job. But at least I didn’t mind the loss of financial compensation that never materialized with the absence of that position.

Now I know doubting can be dangerous, but I think an unwillingness to question and doubt can be just as dangerous. And I know that the challenges to my faith have made it stronger over the years. I rarely if ever anymore question God’s love for mankind generally and me specifically. And I find it impossible to imagine the world around me as something other than a loving gift from a loving Creator. Even the sight of horrific cruelties and pure evil, only tend to reinforce my belief in the fallen-ness of mankind, rather than some disengagement by God. And if that One is the author and embodiment of all truth, a search after truth naturally points us in the right direction. My experience has been that honest doubting is part of that truth search that leads us closer to the One who provides answers to receptive ears.