Mighty Ducks

I was all jazzed to write about my weekend in the Dells, but reality set in and I had to punt. Yesterday quickly filled itself with mud (drywall, that is) and paper (the endless piles of bills, invoices, and estimates upon my desk.) And then the resident teen-agers stirred things up a bit. Maybe the Swanster will fill us in on her daughter’s evening.

Needless to say, my thoughts about the previous weekend lay strewn across the basement carpeting. I had looked forward to playing “sociologist” for the day, writing about the rapid changes that I’ve seen from year to year in the water-park mecca. The “ducks” of today are much different from the ones that first put Wisconsin Dells on the map. But that will have to wait for another day, a time when I have the energy.

A quick sidebar: this past weekend I loaded myself down with a briefcase full of books, about 10 that I am in the middle of reading, my two cameras, and my laptop computer. With three full days of vacation, I would get so much done. Sitting next to the pool I would catch up on e-mail correspondence, finish books that have sat unopened for too long, and jot down some thoughts. Instead it became three days of running and climbing and racing and sliding. I kept up with the teen-agers, but I paid a price in blisters, sunburn, and unfinished projects. Enough said.

I just finished this little evaluation that I found circling in cyberspace. I forget how I ended up there, but the sight is SelectSmart.com. They claim to have over 10,000 visitor created selector questionnaires, helping people decide everything from what kind of dog to buy to what TV show to watch. The one that caught my eye was called “Christian Denomination Selector.” I had to bite. I gave into temptation and answered the 25 or so questions. And what do you suppose I found.

SelectSmart had recommended for me the Anglican Church! Wowsers. I must have forgotten to check the box that says I let my country club membership lapse. There’s no way I have enough three-piece suits to become a regular attendee with the Episcopalians. And that’s even before we talk theology.

The second and third choices were a little more comfortable—Methodist and Presbyterian, respectively. (At least Wiccan and Jehovah’s Witness were way down the list.) I ranked pretty high with the Lutherans too. I don’t know who put together the questions or how they weighted them, but I think they gave considerable influence to one’s view on baptism.

I found the test difficult, because it was all yes or no answers. Most of the questions I wanted to qualify to some degree. It’s tough to get pigeonholed into one camp or the other on some issues.

It was fun anyways. Although I would encourage its creator to broaden the list of denominations quite a bit and open up the questioning for a wider variety of answers, multiple choice maybe, it is not a bad start. And it could be a great catalyst for further investigation of the 2,000 plus denominations in the U.S. (my guess on the number, but turn to the Holy Observer for and up-to-the-minute count)

So where do I fit? Time will tell. But I have to confess that this last Sunday I stood out in the rain, wishing I were a duck, as I readied our camper for its long trip home. In awe of how green and alive my surroundings were with the ample nourishment that we take for granted and sometimes even curse. Water is good: whether used for keeping vegetation fresh, providing cool and exciting entertainment, or sealing a covenant between us and our Maker.

Quack, quack. And you can quote me on that.